We are all perfectly alone

One thing that I always have problems explaining to people is my belief in how alone we ultimately are. I found an interview with Childish Gambino that I think does a fairly good job of expressing a similar philosophy to my current view.

Host: "You won't be there with me in the end?"
DG: "No one will."
Host: "No one will! Thanks for clearing that up."
DG: "Not in a bad way... but no one will. And that's ok."

It is pretty crazy to think of the number of people that come into and exit our lives. That grow close to us and that fade away into memory. It used to make me frustrated that life happens like that, but now I think I've trimmed it down to grudging acceptance.

One thing that has come out of this is that I am more comfortable being alone, some thing that is both liberating and concerning. I guess that E on my Meyer's Briggs might be moving back towards an I haha.

Lyric of the Day: Adele - Rolling in the Deep (Jamie xx Remix) ft. Childish Gambino
"You said I wasn't capable of loving you, I never was.
A twenty-something nigga touring the world with hella buzz.
I'm saying that my life's swell: cortizone.
Fuck Macaulay Culkin, never going home alone."

Giving Thanks

I had a pretty great end to the month.

One of my best friends from college passed by town and I got to show him around. Went hiking. Played Magic. Ate at all my favorite places. All in all it was a great trip and I am glad I was able to catch up with him before he begins the next part of his life journey.

One of the hard things for me moving out here is that I moved away from a lot of the people who knew me really well. It's not hard getting to know new people, but building the type of connection that you do after living with someone for four years isn't something that has really happened since I moved.

I also managed to make a trip back home. My mom made my favorite meal the first day I was there. I helped my Dad fix some of his computer problems. My brother and I swam and binge-watched Jessica Jones. It was more relaxing than tiring.

I really need to buy tickets for my Christmas trip back home.

I also need to shave and get a haircut.

Lyric of the Day: Haim - Days Are Gone

"Felt like I was walking on a tight rope
Those days are gone, those days are gone

Sometimes I wish I didn´t miss you at all
Those days are gone"

It's November?!?!

So, I have gotten terrible at keeping to the blog schedule I was expecting. The work schedule isn't really to blame. I have actually been busy doing things. From Magic tournaments twice a week, to late night BDubs with the FNM crew, to playing online games with the high school friends it has been a busy month.

Though I did have enough time to binge watch "The Great British Baking Show" and "Master of None" on Netflix. So that probably makes me an unreliable narrator.

I did actually go out a significant amount in the past month. The Balloon Fiesta is a huge Albuquerque event, and the turnout was impressive. I went to the park before the break of dawn to see the test balloons go up. It was a great experience, and I will definitely use it as an excuse to have my friends visit me out here.

For scale.

For perspective.

Besides the balloon fiesta, I did spend some time on Halloween stuff. I carved my very own pumpkin for Halloween! Mine is the cutie in the lower right corner of the picture. He (like me) was just super excited to be included in an annual tradition. 

"I Vant To Suck Your Bloood!"

I went people watching with some friends on Halloween, which was fun. My costume was a character from Inside Out, so I had a little console with the emotions hanging from my neck. It had a marker and index cards so I could change my current thought as the night went on. By the time I got back home at 3am, all the candy from the bowl I left out was gone xD

I only took a picture after the bars. That was a terrible idea.

Hopefully during this month I'll remember to actually post updates that aren't two months late.

Lyric of the Day: CHVRCHES - "Playing Dead"

"No more excuses and no more playing dead.
There are no silver linings in anything you said.
If you keep on denying and I could stay away.
We could hold up our hands, say
we don't want it, we don't need it"

I'm a good person, and I need you to tell me that I'm good, Diane.

This past week I watched the second season of Bojack Horseman. It started off slow, but really picked up. The last few episodes (as with the first season) were extremely good and resonated with me.

In the first season I felt like I was into Mr. Peanut Butter's philosophy, but this season I really identified with some of what Bojack was going through. I guess that is what makes the show excellent. The characters are deep, deeply flawed, but yet likable.

The above quote is from the first season, but popped into my head when I was thinking about this past week. Sometimes when there is silence, self-doubt creeps in. While I'm not in Bojack's panic, I think that being aware of it is helpful in addressing it.

I've been working on Magic decks, stories, and new comic ideas. I just kinda wanted to put up a short post because a friend of mine mentioned that his blogging pace was slowing down and that reminded me that I too was falling off :P

Lately I have been having super nostalgic moments that plague me. Probably related to that self-doubt and feeling a bit homesick. Hopefully going hiking this weekend will help shake me out of that.

On a slightly more amusing note I have grown out my hair so much that people have been calling me "Ms. Mahadeo". A haircut is imminent xD

Lyric of the Day: Hellbent (ft. Cozi Zuehlsdorff) - The Girl

"She just shuts her ears,
She's fallen too far,
With salt in her scars.
Won't let him taste her tears.
She's fallen too far,
The girl that time forgot."

Crafting a Legacy aka "I accept who I am, I'm the bad guy"

I know I shouldn't use awesome-sounding titles on relatively lame posts, but I'm pretty sure I'll forget this by the time I actually want to talk about "Legacy" in the context of college admissions or having something that exists even after you are gone. Legacy in this context is a format in Magic the Gathering (a card game that had been a hobby of mine for over 10 years).

Legacy is the grown-up format in Magic. People are playing with very expensive decks that require high levels of skill. I never wanted to play Legacy, because as a casual player I would rather buy 20 mediocre but fun decks. However, we don't always get to choose the monsters we become. One of my good friends only plays Legacy, and with his sponsorship, I have been able to play Legacy for the past two weeks.

The results?

I crush small children and experienced players alike in a flurry of interactions that are not fun for them, but that feel satisfying for me. Legacy lets you play at a high skill level, but if your opponents don't have fine tuned decks and aren't veteran players they simply don't stand a chance.

The pros are that I have won a lot and I've basically made back the money I spend on Magic. The cons are that I had to explain to a seven year old why there was nothing he could do to stop me from beating him in the face on my second turn. I've also created a reputation as the serious player who pretends to be playing for fun. This is hilarious to me, because I know I am actually trying to have fun, but I really hate losing.

I came to New Mexico with a bag full of 18 fun decks, and I'm just playing the ridiculously overpowered one.

I think I'm going to put more energy into crafting fun, but competitive decks. I'm not sure how I'll do that, but I'll have to figure something out. Maybe I'll bring back Arcane or another old mechanic from 10 years ago.

In non-Magic related news, I had a weekend where all I did was play Dominion and Legendary. It was pretty awesome, and I would definitely do it if I get the chance.

I got a ton of basil from my friend's garden and spent a week eating Margherita pizzas. I know they are bad for me, but I will drink water and eat fruit for the rest of the day so that I can have that and stay on track.

I've started doing myfitnesspal or whatever the meal tracking thing is, so that should be interesting. I feel like I know that working out burns calories and that eating gains them. The fact that an app like that makes it seem like a tradeoff I think is something that is useful for me. I do love feeling like I am being clever.

I'll update this with pictures when I get the chance (mostly food, though some Magic stuff). All in all a pretty great week.

Lyric of the Day: The Moth & The Flame - The Young and Unafraid

"The concessions are useless
A failure to diffuse this
Now you have to excuse us
We are moving on

There's rats in the basement
Trying our patience
We are just tuning you out
We are young & unafraid"

The Week in Review

One thing that I wanted to do when I got to ABQ was take a weekend trip to Santa Fe. Santa Fe is ABQ's hipper younger sister who only cooks using organic ingredients, plays Frisbee in the park, and is a drummer for a local band. While both have some similar things going on Santa Fe has the edge in the touristy destination.

Lucky for me that the random weekday I decided to go was a Farmer's Market! I didn't get many veggies, since I was on a day trip to see the old city and have lunch on the plaza. I did however get to grab a yummy chocolate croissant and a coffee to start my day trip. The rest of the day involved walking around the old city and having the aforementioned lunch from the balcony of one of the restaurants on the plaza.

My phone took so long that I ate half of my croissant before taking the picture.

Before I came out to New Mexico, I would always joke that I could never trust sushi from a landlocked place. Since I have been here, I have checked out several sushi places and I have become a believer. I actually went out to a sushi place with friends I made a few years ago who were still in the area, which was great. Third or fifth wheeling is getting a bit old, but is still pretty entertaining.

Desert Sushi. I have a soft spot for shrimp.

 Some of the friends I went out to dinner with are growing vegetables, and had an overabundance of produce. They gave me a couple of squash that I turned into dinner today. I was even promised a bushel of basil next week! Spoiler alert: There will be pesto and pizza next week.

The two squash that are now(mostly) in my tummy.

The last thing for me to do was to find a place to play Magic and get board games. Thankfully my old store was still there, so I was able to find a place to play regularly. A friend of mine also showed me a new place to check out, so he and I spent most of our Friday there. I got to put together a "Legacy" deck, which was basically a spiffy version of my old modern deck. I had to drive around the entire city searching for cards, which was actually a ton of fun. The result of finding cards for it was that my Magic table is now a mess. No regrets! I did manage to lose to burn, but beat a kid playing a block deck.

I'm organized. Priomise.

I'm excited for next week, and enjoying my time in ABQ. New places can be scary, but great because there are so many new people to meet.

Lyric of the day: Metric - The Shade

"I'm following the sun
That's setting in the West
We're floating on a bed of fading lights
A canopy of trees
Bears witness to the breeze
I'm falling like a feather, soft and light

Baby, there's no better time
No better time, baby, we can't find
Oh-whoa-whoa, oh-whoa-whoa"

The new place

So as you can tell from the blog title (and knowledge of obscure state taglines) I have moved to New Mexico!

It was a long drive, but I made it here in one piece. I have been busy setting up my new place, but that is pretty much done. I'm excited to be in a new place.

One thing I did was color code my rooms. I thought it was a pretty cool idea, and it gives my place an interesting twist! Now all I have to do is shop for on-color accessories :P

The rooms:

Red Kitchen

Grey Living Room

Purple Bathroom!

Blue Bedroom

Bonus: I also got a new car :D

Song of the Day: The XX - Intro (long version)

No lyrics, since it is an instrumental haha